Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Last day as four

I have been quiet on this blog for months. More than quiet, in fact- I have deleted all previous posts. I first started this blog last March, because I thought God was preparing us to adopt a little boy from Russia, named Jack. He had recently revealed the orphan crisis to me through organizations like Reece's Rainbow and Project Hopeful. I saw Jack's picture and biography on those sites, and they moved my heart tremendously... I was weeping, praying around the clock for this boy, obsessively trying to learn about him and what his life was like. Our perfect family of four no longer seemed perfect or complete. Hence, I began this blog, "Becoming More than Four".  

Over the course of a couple months, my husband, Dave, agreed that we should adopt Jack. We were preparing to sign the commitment papers to begin the adoption process, and on June 15th, Dave's 35th birthday, we found out that we were having a baby. A baby on the way is wonderful news, but not if you're adopting from Russia- pregnancy is a "disqualifying condition". We were so concerned that Jack would NEVER have a family. He was already almost twelve years old, and had a medical condition. His chances looked bleak. Fortunately, another family came forward to adopt him, and we are praying that God will move mountains so they can bring him home SOON.  

So, we have been preparing for our little baby. Adoption seemed to be shelved for the foreseeable future. Then, in August, we learned of a teenage boy, an orphan named Tolia, who could be hosted through an American host ministry. He is from another Eastern European (EE) country. He was available for adoption, as well. He had been hosted by a family in Texas, and they thought the world of him. Dave quickly agreed that we should host Tolia for Christmas, and that we would consider adopting him. 

Tolia with his Christmas stocking. It is needlepoint, and bless his heart,
he asked if I had made it. No, honey, Lands' End made it.  


Tolia visited us for Christmas, and we all had a wonderful visit together. On Christmas Eve, Dave told me that he thought that we should adopt him. I resist saying that he is a perfect fit for our family, because that sounds so self-centered, as though a child has to be very similar to the adoptive family to be worthy. However, I think it is completely safe to say that we could not have special-ordered a kinder, smarter, more interesting child. He is both loving and lovable. We feel so lucky. There is so much more to his story, but that is a brief summary, for now. In mid-January, Tolia went back to his orphanage in EE. We miss him so much, and will begin the process toward his adoption in earnest, once the baby is born.

Which brings us back to our bambino. :) Yes, a boy. 

Yup, that's our baby.
 Cute profile, I think.



He is due to be born on February 10th, but because we had some concerns (as in, our family only likes to create sumo babies, apparently, which poses certain dangers with natural birth), we have decided to have a C-section. This is such a huge difference from our daughters' births- both natural births in freestanding birth/midwifery centers. Our first daughter was over ten pounds (No, I did not have gestational diabetes or gain an unusual amount of weight), and her birth was complicated by shoulder dystocia- her collarbone broke as she was born. That was bad enough, but we have recently learned that there are far worse things that can happen than a broken collarbone- nerve damage, paralysis of the arm, brain damage, or even death.  Fortunately, our second daughter was born without the complication of shoulder dystocia (she was only 9.5 lbs), but having it with one birth automatically puts you at a higher risk for future births. And this baby is a boy, and they tend to be bigger than girls, and we anticipate that he will be very big.  I feel just huge!  

It makes me anxious to think of having surgery, and having my baby in a situation that feels much less under my control. However, as I said, Dave and I both feel confident, after weighing the statistics, that this is the best course of action. And something kind of neat? (Okay, I think awesome) Is that our baby will be born on my father's birthday.  He passed away very unexpectedly, a week after my first birthday. I don't remember him, but I miss him. I never knew him, yet I love him very much. He has been a special part of our family, in spite of his absence. He was a believer in Christ, and from a young age, I remember my mother telling us that we was in heaven with God. His physical death and absence from our family created an opening for our mother to teach us about God. Tomorrow, February 6th, would be his 59th birthday. His newest grandson will be born on his birthday, and I am so happy about that. 

My dad, holding my older sister, Faith. 


After the wait for our daughters' births (both born after their due dates), it is an interesting thing to know exactly when our son will be born. Today, we were able to make our last day as a family of four really count, and create some special memories. 

Knowing of her baby brother's imminent birth, our 6-year-old asked if I would teach her how to take care of him, so she could practice. So, today, we practiced diapering her baby, dressing and swaddling him.  She did great. 

Tonight, we hit one of our favorite bounce places in town. Can't believe that today was the last day that our younger daughter was the baby in the family! She, too, is very excited for baby brother's birth.



One more of our precious girls. Our family is growing fast, and we will likely double
our number of kiddos this year! Thank you, God! 



Please pray for us tomorrow, as we welcome our new baby into the family. We will post pictures of him soon.  

6 comments:

  1. I love it as much as I love the Warner family! WOO HOO!! Prayers for you in the coming days, months and years!!

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    1. We love you, too! Thank you so much for your prayers, love and friendship! xo

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  2. We will pray for you. How exciting! Cannot wait to meet the little guy!

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    1. Thank you, Jennifer! Can't wait for you to meet him! :)

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  3. Joy, this news makes me weep with happiness for you and your family. I know your father would have been glad to share his birthday with his grandchild, and I feel his spirit move within you. I have memories of him and he was a very special person. My heart breaks that you never knew him. Best wishes for your delivery, and may much happiness be upon you and your family. I hope your house is always filled with love and the laughter of children. I love you, cousin. Ellen

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    1. Ellen, thank you so much for how you have shared about my dad over the years...I have learned a lot about him from you. I am confident that we will see each other again someday, and have plenty of time to catch up... but oh, the ache waiting for that day!
      Thanks so much for commenting. My love to you and Katie.

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