Good news

Just a quick update to let you know that our dossier was submitted yesterday to the State Department on Adoption and Children's Rights (SDA), November 14th. This past week, it was being translated by our adoption facilitator's team. It is a great sign that the facilitator's team found no problems with it, and didn't ask for any additional documents or corrections. They are extremely careful and only want to submit perfect documents, so we are very hopeful that the Ukrainian government will find it (and US!) up-to-snuff. 

From here, we will wait approximately four weeks to hear if the SDA has approved our dossier. If it is approved, we should receive an invitation to travel shortly after that! So, sometime in the New Year... likely end of January (any of my adopting friends feel free to tell me if that's ridiculously optimistic) or February, we should be going to Ukraine! 

In the meantime, we will get to have Tolia home, for Christmas hosting! We are so thrilled to have this opportunity to spend some more of the "waiting time" with him in our home, in HIS home!

Christmas 2012. I'll have to take a similar shot this year for comparison; he has grown so much! 

So, just to make this waiting time a little fun, I'm going to steal an idea that has been used as a game at many baby showers. I'm going to take guesses for when the next part of this process occurs (hearing if our dossier was accepted). Whoever guesses correctly will win a book that we really like, called The Grace Effect, by Larry Taunton. It follows one family's journey of adoption from Ukraine, but also weaves in philosophy, theology, and a bit of Ukrainian history. It is a great book! Leave a comment with your guess (remember, typical range will be 25-35 days from now), and I'll let you know who guesses closest and wins the book! 

Why fundraise for adoption?

Now, we haven't actually had anyone ask us this question, but I know that adoptive families do sometimes get some questions about fundraising, so I thought I'd share our reasons and thoughts on the matter.

One, there is a need for children to be adopted. I don't think there is too much doubt about that. Estimates for how many orphans are in the world are generally in upwards of 100 million. While many countries have programs in place for orphans (orphanages, foster care), most do not come close to the benefits and protections provided by a permanent family. 

In Tolia's country, when kids age out of the orphanage system at age 16, they are considered adults at that point. They have two options. They can strike out on their own, looking for work in their country or other European countries, or they can go onto a technical school. Orphans in his country, even ones with great grades and bright minds like Tolia, do not have the option to go to college. If they do choose technical school (which is outdated, bleak and provides little opportunity for future vocational success), they are still considered adults, and have almost no guidance, still very little food, and still lack the love and protection of parents and family.

What's worse, in addition to the poor likelihood of GOOD things in their future, there are many BAD things that happen to these vulnerable teens when they age out of the orphanage system. 

• In Eastern Europe, less than 50% of the orphan population will live to see their 20th birthdays 
• Of the orphans that survive their 20th birthdays, 50% will end up in organized crime, drugs, or prostitution
• One in six will commit suicide by their mid-20s. 

Others are tricked or kidnapped and sold into other types of slavery. 

In our family (and as you can imagine, in most adoptive families), we will turn ourselves inside out to make sure that he has every opportunity for good health, excellent education, love and safety. 

We absolutely can afford to parent Tolia, and even if we have no help financially, we will somehow find a way to adopt him, even if it means going into debt. However, we would like to avoid that, of course. He will have college in just a few short years, and we would like to be in a position to really help him as much as possible with that! We have cut our expenses in every area we can think of, and I have taken a work-from-home job to help pay for the adoption, as well. Dave has accepted almost every overtime offer sent his way (and I know that we're extraordinarily lucky to have that; we know that most incomes are pretty static). We are doing everything we can to tackle the financial "mountain" that is international adoption, and pay for as much of it ourselves as possible! We are so thankful for what God has already done to help us pay for our expenses so far.

Also, we know that many of our friends, family and members at our church just love him, and believe so much in the cause of adoption, but for various reasons can't adopt, or don't feel it's the plan for their family right now. That's totally fine! Many in our circle have expressed their desire to care for the orphan, and this is one way to do that. 

You are not compelled to participate in any fundraiser we have (I promise we love you either way!), but if you feel led, we are thankful. And I cannot emphasize enough how much we appreciate the moral support of our friends and family. It is so moving to hear the words of support and get encouraging emails and messages on Facebook. We can feel your love for Tolia and for our family. :')

Just a quick "rundown" of what we plan for fundraisers. We just want to let you know in advance, so you can see if there's one that is especially appealing to you, and know if you'd like to save your support for that one. 

• Our 31 fundraiser, going now through Nov. 15. All online. Click on the link, go to "My Events", and select Joy's Adoption Fundraiser. Thank you, Becky G! 

• Soon, we will have an ongoing puzzle fundraiser. We are having a 300-piece puzzle made of our family picture. You will be able to "buy" a piece of the puzzle for $10. We will write your name (or your child's name, husband's name, favorite pet's name, etc.!) on the back of the piece. When the puzzle is complete, we will double-frame it in glass, so Tolia can see all of the names on the pieces, and see everyone that helped bring him home. (Donations for this one will be tax-deductible, received by our Reece's Rainbow account.)

• We will have two blog giveaways. One on this blog, and one on Dave's, The Flatpick Apprentice. Each will have great prizes for those who donate or "share" the giveaway on Facebook, Twitter or their blog. Seriously, super-pumped about these; the prizes are going to rock! These giveaways will likely take place in December and/or January. (Donations for this will also be tax-deductible, through our RR account.)

Thanks so much, guys, for even taking the time to read this. It shows that you're interested in Tolia, our family, and I'd guess, have concern about vulnerable children, in general. Please, stay in touch, keep following our story, and pretty please KEEP PRAYING for our sweet Tolia while he waits, and pray that we can bring him home SOON. 

All About Tolia

Our summer with Tolia is almost over. He returns to Ukraine on Friday. In spite of our hope and plan that he will be coming to America permanently, and soon, the thought of his impending absence kind of makes my stomach hurt. 

I want to share about him a bit. So let's get started.

He is fourteen. There are some things that make him similar to most fourteen-year-olds here in America. He likes to stay up late and sleep late (as he is doing now). 

Okay, he's actually sleeping in his queen-sized memory foam-topped bed right now, but this is the only picture I have of him sleeping. I suppose I could sneak in his room and take a picture of him, but he might find that creepy if I woke him up accidentally...

He loves adventure and taking risks.

Yup, he made it to the top.

The super-scary roller coaster he went on with Dave at Hershey Park
(Confession: I was jealous that I wasn't the one who got to take him on.)

He loves to eat. Fruit, red 40-laced frozen treats of all manner, steak, eggs, pierogi, ham, beef jerky, RAW onions- just for a snack. He asks almost every day for a frappucino. Sometimes, I just can't say no. 

Could you say no to this face?

In other ways, he seems so much younger than American 14-year-olds. Sometimes he wants to get to do the same things his younger sisters are doing.

 And that's okay with me. After all, most of these things he missed out on. He has child-like wonder about things that I certainly take for granted. For instance, the daily mail. He loves to run out and see what's inside the mailbox. He brings in the bills, the circulars, and occasional correspondence from people we actually know. He eagerly asks me questions about everything he brings in. "What's this?", he asks, holding up an envelope from Geico. I attempt to explain what auto insurance is. He pores over an advertisement from a local car dealership. He loves cars. He asks if he can scratch off the circle to see if we won $1000 off the car of our choice. He does it with joy. And yes, we won. "Can I have Moostong (Mustang)?"  I smile. "Maybe someday, honey."  And he REALLY loves opening packages that are delivered. He always asks if he may open something before he does. When we give him the go-ahead, he smiles hugely and softly says, "Yayyy." He doesn't seem too disappointed when it's something mundane, like running socks for Dave. 

Sometimes, it makes me feel like I have TWO sweet baby boys. 

He loves his baby brother and is very tender-hearted toward him. He cannot bear for him to cry. If I am trying to finish up some kind of task, and Jude becomes fussy in his jumperoo, or having tummy time, I will of course, say, "Okay, Jude, I'll be right there... just a minute."  Well, if I don't get him in short order, Tolia picks him up, lovingly saying, "Jude", and carries him around. He is immediately pacified. 

Jude's first time in a big pool. 

Sometimes it hits me how lucky Jude is compared to Tolia. He is given everything he needs, and most things he wants. And God-willing, he will have that most of the days of his childhood. 

I'm not sure if Tolia received 100+ kisses a day from his mom and dad. I hope so. I don't know if he was lovingly nursed whenever he was hungry, and received relatively timely diaper changes, as Jude does. I don't know if there were presents under the Christmas tree when he was a young child. I don't know if there WAS a Christmas tree. While Tolia's life now isn't bad compared to other Ukrainian orphans (he is in a "good" orphanage), it's nowhere close to being the life of a child in a family. 

I would sort of expect that that would make him jealous or resentful of a pampered and coddled baby like Jude. It doesn't, though. 

And feeding Jude his first solids. 

More about Tolia:

He loves and enjoys America very much. 

His first time "down the shore". 

Last night, we watched "Seal Team Six" about the mission to take out OBL. He was so relieved when the Seals survived the crash helicopter landing, and cheered when they completed their mission. "That was good movie". 

He loves animals.

He is handsome.

He fits right in with us.

Hibachi. His "best" (favorite) restaurant.

He is VERY smart, and can build or assemble anything. He loves to figure out and fix things. 

The boy is REALLY good at finding things that the rest of the family loses.

The tablet that we've been missing for a year. He spent most of the summer looking for it
and was SO triumphant when he found it last week. (And we were grateful!)

He LOVES his dad and lives for when he has time off. 

                           

                                                I can't remember what the pouting was about. 

Though he says that I'm his favorite, too. (It's okay with me if Dad's really #1, though.)

We love him a whole lot. Pray for all of us but especially him as this time of separation begins on Friday. 

Six-month recap

So, the thing about blogs, is that you're supposed to write in them, aren't you? I've penned many snippets in my mind in the last six months, but haven't typed a-one until now. So, here we go. Recap:
Our baby boy, our Judester, Jude-y cutie, Jude-y cutie fruity, Judicus, or "Handsome", as we often call him, arrived in February and, man... I'm so glad that God sent him to us. Sometimes the best gifts are the ones we didn't know we wanted, didn't know we were missing. Thank you, God. He is perfection and sweetness, and I basically can't stop kissing his widdle cheeks. I won't stop. 

Something very cool happened in the O.R. right after he was born. Dave was next to me, holding my hand. Because I couldn't feel or see anything, I only knew he was born because there was suddenly a baby crying in the room. All of you parents know what a blessed sound that is. Well, almost immediately after hearing Jude cry, my phone "pinged" in Dave's scrubs pocket. It was a Facebook message from almost 5,000 miles away. Tolia knew that Jude was to be born that day, but he didn't know when. So, the timing was amazing:

That came in when Jude was two minutes old. So, that was cool. Here are a few snippets of Jude through the past few months:

The girls are great. They are loving their baby brother. I thought it would wear off a little, but no. Every morning when they see that he's up they cry, "JUDE!" 

Caroline recently earned her wristband at the Y, which means she is an independent swimmer and can go down the waterslides. We are proud and she is thrilled. She is also reading very well. Evy is as sweet and loving as ever. Still obsessed with princesses, and it is pretty darn precious. They are two lovable and loved little girls. 

And in June, Tolia returned for the Summer. 

There is so much to say about our summer so far. It is very good and almost startling how easily Tolia fits into our family. His presence is a crazy blessing. He, too, is very loving. He is fun, funny and helpful. He is crazy-smart and I know that he has a very bright future. 

We have swum, ridden bikes and go-karts. We have picked fruit, which he loves: strawberries, cherries (his favorite), raspberries, blueberries and nectarines. He has probably eaten more watermelon than a human should eat. He and Dave have played a ton of  just a few video games. He has hung out with his best American bud, C. We all went on a retreat with our small group from church, and had a great time. We're looking forward to a few days at the Jersey shore coming up soon. The end of the summer will come too soon. 

The adoption is progressing s-l-o-w-l-y. We'd love prayers on that front!

That's all for now. I will publish this now before the perfectionist in me takes over. Thanks for reading!